Roots and Wings: Andrea’s Tale of Two Cultures and Maternal Love

Dear Readers,

This month, as we celebrate the theme of Inspiring Mothers, I'm delighted to bring you a special story about Andrea, a woman whose journey took her from the scenic beauty of Austria to the charming landscapes of Italy. Her life beautifully intertwines the essence of two distinct cultures with the profound experiences of motherhood. Andrea's story is a vivid illustration of discovering happiness in new settings and the remarkable strength she embodies in harmonizing her rich heritage with the joys and challenges of being a mother. Join us in exploring this inspiring tale that resonates with the spirit of our monthly theme.

Andrea’s story

Andrea Colosimo

On a beautiful sunny day - July 18, 1977 - I was born in a small village nestled in the Tyrolean mountains, in Ehenbichl.

Now, almost 47 years later, I am convinced that it's thanks to that sun and the fact that I was deeply desired, that I always see the glass half full. From the beginning, I was pampered by my parents, grandparents, and uncles... I was the first grandchild and niece for everyone. My mom always tells me that I was born with a smile and have always spread joy and happiness to those around me. My sister once said: "The sun even shines from your behind ;-)"

I grew up in a traditional family, with my dad going to work and fulfilling our wishes as best he could, while mom was almost always home, ensuring we were never alone. In 1980, my sister Martina was born. Sundays were for mass, wearing a Dirndl and white socks, which I hated. Yet, I had a wonderful childhood, filled with endless afternoons playing in the village hills, meeting friends, bike races, pajama parties, summer camps in tents by the lake, and above all: my carefreeness. I was a happy child and even today, I like to surround myself with happy people. I love taking my daughters to the places dear to me, and I get emotional seeing them understand my connection with the place where I grew up.

Our parents have always been big fans of Italy. I remember my holidays in Riccione and Jesolo as a child, and on Elba Island as a teenager.

Jokingly, my mom always said: "If only I had an Italian son-in-law!" - she couldn't have known that one day it would really happen.

I attended kindergarten, walking there hand in hand with my best friend who lived next door, starting from the age of four. I still remember the smell of fresh Brezels we would buy at the bakery, where the clerk knew all of us by name and would call home to check if we were okay if we didn't show up for our usual Brezel. The same went for my four years of elementary school, where my desire to become a teacher was born. This desire never changed. After elementary, I went to a scientific high school. It wasn't a choice, as it was the only high school in our area.

Many subjects went against my less logical but more linguistic and humanistic nature, and they were a real problem for the long eight years (our high school lasts for eight years).

Biology, Mathematics, Physics, Chemistry, and Geometry caused me many problems and still make me shiver, while French, Advanced English, German, and Italian were just right for me. Choosing a linguistic or humanistic high school would have meant moving away from home, which was impossible at the time because I absolutely did not want to leave home!!! The homesickness would have killed me...

In 1995, I graduated. The choice to pair English and Italian in my studies was almost random; I needed a second subject and opted for Italian. The following years were tough, yes, not the best, those five and a half years of university. They demanded a level of commitment that often meant sleepless nights devoted to study. Of course, they were also beautiful for the friendships, the satisfaction of finally doing something that interested me. But most importantly, during those years, I met the love of my life.

“I swear on my daughters’ lives, for a moment my heart stopped. It all happened in an instant; I believe it was the classic love at first sight.”

I was in my second year of studies when a friend suggested a study trip to Livorno. The “Dante Alighieri” school offered full immersion courses for students. We spent three beautiful weeks in a city that didn't fascinate me much. I remember Livorno for the sea, food, and people, but also for the smell of the port and dirtiness. When we returned to Innsbruck, the same friend asked if I wanted to vacation in Livorno again, as she had meanwhile started dating a guy in the Folgore named Andrea. Initially, I didn't want to because I already knew the city, but when other friends joined, I changed my mind and went.

It was April 16, 2000; I got off the train and Andrea and his friend Santo were there to accompany us from the station to the hotel. And I swear on my daughters' lives, for a moment my heart stopped. It all happened in an instant; I believe it was the classic love at first sight. (Fortunately for both of us ;-) For three days, I floated on a cloud of happiness and love, then I called home to inform my parents that I had found my husband.

“Mom, Dad, I'm going to marry an Italian.”

Then the story is long and full of beautiful and less beautiful things to tell. The trips from Innsbruck to Livorno, the physical heartache every time we had to part, the doubts of almost all friends and relatives (the Italian is unfaithful and a mama's boy, so absolutely not to be married). But we ignored the negative comments and trusted each other, and it's been working great for almost 22 years. And by tradition for those who get married in Austria, I took Santo's surname. Alas, if only I had known then that for the rest of my life people would mistake me for a man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Note: In Italy, the name "Andrea" is almost always given to boys. So, when you hear "Andrea" in Italy, it's usually referring to a man.)

I'm not saying it's always been easy. After my trial year from September 2001 to July 2002, we married in August 2002, and in October Santo found a small rental apartment, and I moved to Pordenone. (where he was transferred as he was no longer fit for parachute jumps due to a shoulder operation). Right after my arrival in Pordenone, he had to leave for 4 long months in Kosovo. On one hand, it was good for me because I had to manage on my own.

I found a language school where I became an instructor for evening courses. When I went to the school office the first time, they looked at me incredulously and only said, “You can't work in Italy, go get a residence permit.

” A residence permit? Me? But Austria is part of the European Union...well, I went to the police station at 7 in the morning, like everyone else took a number, and waited in the torrential rain, in line with many people who evidently were not part of the EU. Then I gathered courage, rang the bell, and asked if, since I was not from outside the EU, there was a way to enter without waiting in line. The man on the intercom asked about my origin, and I said that I'm Austrian, but the answer was clear and left no doubts: “Wait in line with everyone else.” Two hours later at the counter, the policeman asked me: “Ma'am, why did you wait in line? You're Austrian.” And boom.

I felt like I was in a movie. With soaking wet pants, cold hands, and anger to contain, I replied: “That’s exactly what I’ve just told your colleague.” “Ah, he must have misunderstood it as Australia.” was his reply.

This episode made me understand that tenacity would be my future companion, and so it has been until today. And I also understood that if you ask the wrong people for information without going deeper, you will never get what you deserve.

Years passed, I found a good job in a consulting firm and taught English all day in companies like Electrolux and Savio Macchine Tessili as an English teacher, and Italian for foreigners. I liked it, but I always preferred to be at school.

On April 16, 2007 (on April 16, 2000, Santo and I met and fell in love), our first daughter, Elena, was born. I opted for childbirth in Austria, surrounded by people who speak my language and also to have my family close by. My husband has always supported these decisions, indeed, he believes that the healthcare system of the Nordic countries is unbeatable.

He left for Afghanistan when Elena was just 6 months old. I chose to go to Austria so as not to be alone, and again after two years when he went to Lebanon for six months. Afterward, he decided not to leave anymore because he didn't want to miss more months of Elena's life and be close to us.

I chose not to work to dedicate myself to Elena, a choice not understood by 99.9% of people as it is quite unusual in Italy.

But I didn't want to hand over my baby to strangers at only seven months old. In Austria, it's normal for women to take care of their children for the first two years, even men go on paternity leave, and when the children are old enough for kindergarten, the mom goes back to work. However, I realize that in Italy this is not possible as they cannot hold your job for two years. Even after the birth of our second daughter, Romina, I stayed at home until she was three years old. I wanted to be the one to hear her first words, see her first steps. I worked in the evenings for IAL and ENAIP but mainly, I enjoyed my baby girl and I don't regret it at all.

In 2014, I participated in the preselection of a competition to enter school. A friend asked me if I had the qualification, and I told her that in Austria you graduate with a qualification as you do about 500 hours of courses that prepare you for school life - pedagogy, philosophy, child psychology, etc. I missed the preselection by two points, but they called me for my first annual substitution in a middle school, which I accepted with great pleasure. With the girls in school and kindergarten and my husband there for emergencies, the first year passed, and I was really happy because it was exactly what I always wanted to do. In 2016, I won the competition, and since 2018, I have been a permanent teacher in a high school. I took the position on August 10 (the date of our wedding).

In 2021, I achieved a great dream, I published my first children's book.

“Enough With the Green!”

The idea for this book was born from a deep crisis during my studies, a long story. Last year, the first book of the series “Als der Bär” written by my cousin from Graz and translated by me into Italian came out. It sold over 1000 copies in a single year, Soon, her second book will be released, and I am proud to be part of her great project. My second children's book is in the works, I am very happy and can't wait to see it finished. It's another piece of my heart that I would like to give to many children.

“When the bear gifted friendship to himself”

In 2017, we bought our house in Roveredo where we live happily ever after.

What do I miss about Austria? Everything, the family, the clean air, people's punctuality, my beloved mountains, the peace, the food (maybe not even the food, more like the dishes where every bite tastes of mom's love, the only ingredient you can't find in any supermarket); the fact of starting work and seeing it finished soon; the reliability of companies, the social and health system.

The Plansee, my favorite lake

What do I not miss? The narrow-mindedness, that everyone meddles in your business in a small town. What I liked as a child and gave me a sense of 'Geborgenheit', today feels almost a bit tight.

I visit my family at least three times a year, and they come to visit us, and it's always a very special time. I spend a lot of quality time with them, go walking in 'my' mountains, and luckily my husband shares my joy and even if he doesn't understand German well, he likes to be with my family.

Once a year, we go to Calabria where Santo is from, our daughters grow up with a mix of sea and mountains and appreciate it a lot. At home, we speak a mix of German, Italian, English, and Spanish; when it's just us women, German prevails. Elena is now in her third year of linguistic high school, she is very good in German and Spanish. Romina doesn't like German; she wants to study Russian and French.

As a child, when she didn't understand something I said in German, she would reply: “Say it in my voice.” I find it beautiful that she identified her language with her voice.

“Austria will always be my homeland, Italy is my country of residence.”

Am I happy? Very happy. Happy with what I have built for myself, thanks to my tenacity and the “never give up” which is a bit my nature.

I wish I were less sensitive and more carefree at times, but it's not in me. I am happy with what Santo and I have built together, always looking in the same direction, and how our girls are growing up. Two completely different cultures living harmoniously under the same roof, two parents who love each other and, thanks to their compromises and sacrifices, conflicts resolved through dialogue, deep and sincere love they feel and mutual trust, are a good example of life, or at least I hope so.

Do I feel Italian after all these years? No. I still have Austrian citizenship and don't want Italian citizenship. I don't need it, I could vote but in any case, I wouldn't know who.

My university graduation thesis was about the little things that get lost in translation.

I took three fairy tales by the Brothers Grimm and analyzed the English translation. There are things that cannot be translated. Concepts and feelings encapsulated in a word, a saying, a diminutive, and much more. And sometimes it's the same thing when I speak Italian. I manage to say what I want and make myself understood but it's not always what I really want to communicate.

The biggest difficulties when I first arrived? Being foreign and the fact that people make you feel it. I am much more confident now, in my linguistic abilities but I am always the foreigner and always will be. And gestures… at university you learn grammar, Dante, and Manzoni, but they don't teach you how to gesture.

Austria will always be my homeland, Italy is my country of residence.

My life's motto:

“I'm happy when it rains. Because even if I weren't happy,

it would still rain.”

Andrea

Andrea's story shows us the beauty of living between two cultures and the strength of a mother's love. From Austria to Italy, her life is a powerful reminder of how we can adapt, find joy, and grow in different settings. Her story is not just about the places she lived, but about her heartwarming journey as a mother, wife, and individual.

I hope Andrea's story inspires you as much as it inspired me. I'd love to hear your thoughts on this story, so please feel free to comment below. And if you have your own stories of inspiring mothers, please share them with us at Share Your Story. Let's celebrate these incredible journeys together.

Warm Regards,

S.A. Sterling